Jamin Bradley

I once sat down for lunch with a congregant, only to be blindsided by the opening comment: “You preached the worst Easter message I’ve ever heard.”

During the pandemic, when our church was online, a congregant told me they sometimes turn the service off when they don’t like what I’m preaching.

In ministry, you must learn to discern the critique you’re given. You must be humble enough to listen, but also recognize that you can’t please everyone in our very opinionated world, where visitors leave Google reviews and online ratings of churches. Many of our criticisms do not come from the Holy Spirit (though some will make it seem so), but from our own pain, preferences, and hardness of heart. These kinds of critiques will eat us alive if we’re not careful.

Be humble enough to hear critique openly—even invite it, especially with people you trust—but don’t assume every single critique you’ve ever received is correct. And even if it is correct, it may not always be substantive. For example, I once put a Bible passage on the screen with the wrong verse reference, causing someone to come to me in tears. Did I not respect the Bible enough to proofread the slides? Was Scripture not sacred to me? The criticism was correct, but this was an over-the-top response to a copy-and-paste issue on the slides.

On top of all these external voices of critique, pastors also face internal ones.

Jim looked at me weirdly when I said that thing in my message last week, and now they’re not here today. 

I tried to be faithful to what I thought I was supposed to preach, and now attendance is down. 

I know that worship song stretched people a bit, but it was perfect for the message, and now that couple is probably never coming back. 

Did that person leave the sanctuary to use the bathroom, or did I say something wrong?

Maybe I didn’t make that new person feel comfortable enough. 

Maybe I did too much of this. 

Maybe I did too little of that.

Pastors carry a heavy weight in their minds. We all know that a big part of what people look for in a church is whether or not they like the pastor. When people visit your church and don’t come back, it’s hard not to take it personally. When people who usually go to your church disappear for a month, you wonder what you did. 

Some critiques are nothing more than preference. Some critiques are fair. Some critiques are very important, and you should make the necessary changes immediately. But use discernment as to what’s what.

Jesus faced criticism all the time. Try to learn to process it and deal with it like he did. There have been so many critiques I needed to hear that have made me a better person, a better preacher, and a better pastor. But there have also been some that have been so painful that I’ve needed inner healing to get them to stop constantly replaying in my mind. Bring all critiques before Jesus in prayer and humility, and he’ll help you discern through them and heal from the toxic ones.