Jamin Bradley

Talking about controversial subjects is tricky, and it’s important that you do it well. Yes, Jesus said people would hate us for following him, but he didn’t mean people would hate us because we’re a bunch of jerks.

If you cannot see the humanity in your opponent, then you cannot love them. If you cannot love them, then you can prophesy all you want, but you are nothing more than a clanging gong and have gained nothing. You need to be able to speak the message God has put in your heart with love so that it might possibly be received. That will not happen if you put more stock in being right than in loving the friend, acquaintance, frenemy, or enemy in front of you.

The prophetic often works differently corporately than it does personally. You can speak to a generic crowd a bit more intensely than you can speak to an individual. I learned this from my mentor in college—a fiery professor who was willing to passionately talk about anything from the front of the classroom but was kind and gentle when you met him in a personal setting.

If your argument is online, don’t be sarcastic. Don’t let other online commenters make fun of your opponents. Defend the honor of your enemies. They, too, are made in the Image of God. Pay attention to how the social dynamic is changing if you garner more likes on your comments than they do, as that will make them feel more insecure.

If the conversation isn’t going anywhere, tell them you’ll make one more reply, and then be done. Don’t let people bait you into additional unhealthy conversations through mockery. Don’t stir the pot just to stir the pot. Don’t get high off of fighting people—that’s called bullying. Stay away from rage bait.

If the person you’re trying to dialogue with is getting amped up and angry, maintain a good attitude. When people spiral out of control, they make your point for you. As others read your conversation, they’ll recognize your levelheadedness. Online battles are not always about the person you’re talking with—they’re often more about the people who are silently reading your conversation.

Whatever they say, keep cool and love on. Your interaction as a pastor can be healing and evangelistic, but you don’t always recognize it. When I run into people I rarely see in real life, they sometimes thank me for my posts. I’ve also received messages and comments from deconstructing Christians who have found my online interactions to be healing and one of the reasons they haven’t given up on Jesus. These are reasons worth speaking up about the kinds of issues that pastors often stay silent about.